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Song list

Lyrics not yet added:

You're the Mushroom on the Pizza of my Life

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(music and lyrics by Hugh Emerson; dedicated to BN)

You be my gal, I'll be your man:
Close as anchovies in a can,
I want to have you for my wife;
You're the mushroom on the pizza of my life.

I love you like I love mushrooms on my pizzas, dear;
I like you like I like my pizza with my fav'rite beer;
I want you like I want my beer with a big, white head of foam;
I need you 'cause I need to make this bach'lor's house a home.

Be my Italian sausage, please;
You're twice as nice as double cheese,
But your scorn cuts me like a knife;
You're the mushroom on the pizza of my life.

I love you like I love mushrooms on my pizzas, dear;
I like you like I like my pizza with my fav'rite beer;
I want you like I want my beer with a big, white head of foam;
I need you 'cause I need to make this bach'lor's house a home.

Open your heart and let me in;
I'd stay with you through thick and thin.
You're causing me such inner strife;
You're the mushroom on the pizza of my life.

I love you like I love mushrooms on my pizzas, dear;
I like you like I like my pizza with my fav'rite beer;
I want you like I want my beer with a big, white head of foam;
I need you 'cause I need to make this bach'lor's house a home.
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The Open Gifts

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(music and lyrics by Hugh Emerson; dedicated to LLH)

Open gift's on open air; 
Open time's the gift He'll bear, 
Hoping the Earth her time will share, 
Or what we see 
Is what we'll be. 
We must not live in the past; 
We must live on Earth 
From our fatal birth, 
But our lives go far too fast. 

Complex lives run 'round in rings; 
People lacking the closest of things, 
No one is heeding the song that he sings, 
So now the Son 
His time has done. 
I would not ask for more, 
But does he hear 
His mother dear? 
She's the only child he bore. 

She is waiting beyond the skies; 
If one severs all earthly ties, 
Two can be one that never dies. 
Then love will be 
Eternity. 
What more could mortals ask? 
He will give to men 
Lives to live again 
If we'll don his faceless mask. 

Open gift's on open air: 
Open time's the gift he'll bear, 
Hoping the Earth her time will share. 
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Our Love

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(music and lyrics by Hugh Emerson; dedicated to LJR)

Oh, our love: it showed the stars how to shine. 
Only the stars above knew you were mine, 
But for oh, so short a time. 
Though our love had lasted all the summer long, 
I thought the time was right for moving on, 
And now our love is gone. 

Oh, my love, I knew at once you were to be 
Someone to be a special one to me, 
But then I set you free, 
And, my love, I'm sorry for the pain I caused. 
I'd gone and hurt the one I'd loved the most, 
So now that door is closed. 

Our love was never meant to be; 
Our love just couldn't set us free; 
Nothing ever could become of you and me. 
My love, I wanted it to last; 
That summer ran away too fast. 
Now all we have is just our past. 

When our love is settled in your memory, 
I hope you find it pleasant reverie 
To recall your time with me, 
But, my love, I guess I couldn't blame you for 
Not wanting to remember any more 
The one who closed the door. 

Our love was never meant to be; 
Our love just couldn't set us free; 
Nothing ever could become of you and me. 
My love, I wanted it to last; 
That summer ran away too fast. 
Now all we have is just our past. 

Our love was never meant to be; 
Our love just couldn't set us free; 
Nothing ever could become of you and me. 
My love, I wanted it to last; 
But time just ran away too fast. 
Now all we have is just our past. 
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Proslambanomenos

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(music by Hugh Emerson)

"Proslambanomenos", "chord", "tetrachord", and neutral syllables like "fa la", "doo" and "bum".  
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Think Positively (another depressing song)

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(music and lyrics by Hugh Emerson; dedicated to CMRW)

I don't know what I want out of life;
I can't find a way to sort it out at all.
Why must I live through strife after strife?
Life's a mountain to climb that's too tall.
But:

This won't be another depressing song;
I've sung songs of sorrow so long,
So, even when life seems to treat you wrong,
Think positively, and feel free to sing along.

Love's a game that we play without end:
Just a poker game with arbitrary rules,
And the deck's stacked against you, my friend;
Love will beat us and make us all fools.
But:

This won't be another depressing song;
I've sung songs of sorrow so long,
So, even when life seems to treat you wrong,
Think positively, and feel free to sing along.

Your religion is there at the start;
There's no room for any doubt within your mind.
When will God bring His peace to my heart,
Or is that something I'll never find?
But:

This won't be another depressing song;
I've sung songs of sorrow so long,
So, even when life seems to treat you wrong,
Think positively, and feel free to sing along.

Money talks, so they say; I agree,
But I wish that is would not say quite so much,
Or that when it would talk, then for me,
Without giving me Midas's touch.
But:

This won't be another depressing song;
I've sung songs of sorrow so long,
So, even when life seems to treat you wrong,
Think positively, and feel free to sing along.

Why does life hold these problems for man?
It seems life can never give a thing but wrongs,
But some live life with joy, and you can
Only if you sing positive songs.
And:

This won't be another depressing song;
I've sung songs of sorrow so long,
So, even when life seems to treat you wrong,
Think positively, and feel free to sing along.
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Zibida

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(music and lyrics by Hugh Emerson; dedicated to REJT)

How can I say how very much You mean to me?
The things that others say just don't say how.
Although I'm not afraid to say "I love You" now, I hope you see
The right lyrics don't exist, there was no need for them till now.

You're my Ray of hope -- hope that the world will never end.
May our love ever live; 
Life has so much to give
As long as I can have You for my friend.

The time I spend with You is never wasted time;
I'm always at my best when I'm with You.
It seems when we're apart my life has neither reason nor a rhyme,
So finding time to be with You is never hard to do.

You're my Ray of hope -- hope that the world will never end.
May our love ever live; 
Life has so much to give
As long as I can have You for my friend.

You're my shining Ray of hope -- hope that this loving world will never come to end.
Here's to love -- may ours ever live; 
Life has so very much to give
As long as I can have You for my friend.
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Mid-Night (in the middle of the night)

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(music and lyrics by Hugh Emerson and Kathy Sprague; dedicated to MCS)

Tossing and turning alone in my bed, 
Trying to forget you who lives in my head. 
How could I love you, since we've never met? 
It seems to be so strange, and yet 

In the middle of the night I saw you standing there, 
In the middle of the night upon a thoroughfare, 
And I fell in love with you and thought the time was right 
For us to be together: in the middle of the night. 

Driving my car means I'm thinking of you; 
Even though you aren't real, another won't do. 
Waiting to find you is one dream I'll keep 
Until I can next fall asleep. 

In the middle of the night I saw you standing there, 
In the middle of the night upon a thoroughfare, 
And I fell in love with you and thought the time was right 
For us to be together: in the middle of the night. 

Lonely I lie there while thinking of one -- 
One who has a love that can never be won. 
Dreaming of loving will just never feel 
Like having a love who is real! 

In the middle of the night I saw you standing there, 
In the middle of the night upon a thoroughfare, 
And I fell in love with you and thought the time was right 
For us to be together: in the middle of the night. 

Trav'ling by car has become such a chore: 
Spotting each hitchhiker makes my heart soar, 
Then I get closer and see it's not you, 
And know that my heartache's not through. 

In the middle of the night I saw you standing there, 
In the middle of the night upon a thoroughfare, 
And I fell in love with you and thought the time was right 
For us to be together: in the middle of the night. 
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Mama

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(lyrics by Hugh Emerson, music by Hugh Emerson, Jimmy Davis, Charles Mitchell and Howard Johnson; dedicated to KSE)

You gave me part of your life 
In a way that I can say about no other. 
To some, you're a daughter; to one, you're a wife, 
But to me, the special name for you is "mother". 

When I was needing to know 
Of life's mysteries and didn't want a preacher, 
You told me I'd always know just where to go; 
I could always count on you to be my teacher. 

You're on my mind now, and in my heart, 
So whenever we're apart, 
You'll hear me singing this song to you, 
And I'll know you're thinking of me too. 

If there was something to fear, 
And it seemed that there would be no way to calm me, 
I knew that wherever I'd be, you'd be there, 
And the fears would go away because of Mommy. 

You're on my mind now, and in my heart, 
So whenever we're apart, 
You'll hear me singing this song to you, 
And I'll know you're thinking of me too. 

As I grew up and moved out, 
It appeared that our relationship would end, 
But that couldn't ever hope to come about; 
I could not lose track of you, 'cause you're my friend. 

You're on my mind now, and in my heart, 
So whenever we're apart, 
You'll hear me singing this song to you, 
And I'll know you're thinking of me too. 
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Della

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(music and lyrics by Hugh Emerson; dedicated to DJP)

One two three four five six seven
One two three four five
Halfway on the road to heaven
Barely half alive.
A B C D E F G
I love her, why won't she love me?
I want her so
That she must know
That when I'm near her
I'm in fear her
Nearness causes too much pain,
Because I know that she would never care I died from loving her in vain.

Della, Della,
I'm your fella.
Won't you love me, too?
I can't think of any other since I fell for you.
Won't you love me for my sake,
'Cause if you don't, my heart will break,
And then I'll go away to die.
Without you, life is not worth living.
Della, can you tell me why
You're giving
Me such treatment?   All I've done is love you.  
Della!  Love me, too!
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Anticipation

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(lyrics by Laura Mitchell, music by Hugh Emerson; dedicated to BS)

The old man sitting in a chair 
Watches shadows in the room 
And pictures on the table there 
Cut through life's now deep'ning gloom 
Reminders of a happy past 
Parts of days that went too fast 
Treasured here up to the last 
They will follow to the tomb 

A cake sits on the windowsill 
Its candles brightly glowing 
Their light is flick'ring, never still 
The movement never slowing 
They celebrate this special day 
When all will come to him and pay 
Their debts of gratitude and say, 
"Our past to you is owing". 

But miles away his daughter sits 
Her fam'ly close around her 
She and her children, closely knit 
Reflect the joy they find there 
Till mention of a man long dead 
Jars the mem'ry in her head 
She worried till her husband said, 
"I'm sure it slipped his mind, dear." 

The sun sets on those cold gray walls 
Night and nurses come with doubt 
Before persuasion, protest falls 
He lets himself be led out 
The man desired to wait until 
His children come, they surely will 
His cake sits lonely on the sill 
A breeze has blown the light out 
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U.B.

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(music and lyrics by Hugh Emerson; dedicated to JMC)

Loving you--was it the right thing?
It seemed at the time a bright thing.
Though it sounds like it's a trite thing,
I gave up my heart to you;
You and I were perfect lovers.
I could never look at others;
Even if I'd had my 'druthers,
I'd for sure have gone for you.

Why'd you lead me on like you did?
Why'd you let me be deluded?
Now my life is so secluded;
I can want no one but you.
How I wish it hadn't ended!
How I wish my heart had mended!
If I'd known, I would have spended
Not such effort loving you,

You bitch!  You lousy, sleazy whore!
You dumped me, and yet you still want to hurt me more,
You witch!  You abhorrent, ignorant slut!
How can anyone do what you've done to me?  But
I still love you more than I hate you.

Ninety miles is not too far for
Two in love.  I had a car for
Seeing you; it wasn't hard for
Me to make some time for you.
What you did to me ain't pretty;
I'm not asking for your pity.
Just because I left the city,
That was an excuse for you.

You said I was talking wedding;
You told me you weren't ready.
All I wanted was a steady!
That's too much to ask from you?
I'm not asking for excuses.
When we broke up, both were losers.
All I want now we are through is
Nothing to remember you,

You bitch!  You lousy, sleazy whore!
You dumped me, and yet you still want to hurt me more,
You witch!  You abhorrent, ignorant slut!
How can anyone do what you've done to me?  But
I still love you more than I hate you.

So I left you on your own, dear,
Thinking both of us alone, dear.
Every time I heard the phone, dear,
I was hoping it was you.
I don't think you could improve on
What we had, so why'd you move on
In with some guy with no proof on
Whether he was right for you?

Your new roommate must be grand (he
Seems to have been very handy);
If you thought this guy so dandy,
What had I become to you?
How I wish that you could listen
As I find my pains and list `em;
I need you out of my system!
You can go to blazes, you,

You bitch!  You lousy, sleazy whore!
You dumped me, and yet you still want to hurt me more,
You witch!  You abhorrent, ignorant slut!
How can anyone do what you've done to me?  But
I still love you more than I hate you.
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White Witch

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(music and lyrics by Hugh Emerson; dedicated to EBW)

White witch! 
Casting your spells for your desires, 
Power from Hell will light your fires, 
White witch. 
I loved you while under your spell 
But was it real? Was it love? I can't tell! 
I felt your magic the night that we met 
Work its way on my heart 
Even though you've been too much to forget, 
Now I think we're best apart, 
White witch. 
You take with you part of me; 
Where ubi there ibi,* 
I cried for you; when is your turn to cry over me? 
I thought you'd be the perfect lover. 
How could two so different love each other? 
Too bad your spell didn't last forever; 
Then we'd still be together, 
White witch. 

*(where you be there I be. ubi is Latin for where, and ibi is Latin for there. Kind of a bilingual pun.) 
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Psalm 133

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(lyrics from the Bible; music by Hugh Emerson; dedicated to GAH)

Psalm 133 
1 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! 
2 It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments; 
3 As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the LORD commanded the blessing, even life for evermore. 

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! 
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Girl Only Does

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(music by Hugh Emerson; lyrics by Jim Irwin and Hugh Emerson)

Girl Only Does
What I Love; Love
Always Laughs With A Yawn.  So
What Is New?
A Girl And I Now Sleep Together
After Love Laughs,
So I Now
Give Only Doves
Wrapped in Love, Laughing 
A Laugh With A Yawn. So
Fight It, Girl!  Have Thoughts
For Only Right,
Yawning On Us.
Jokes I Make,
I Rite Write In Night.
amen.

Alternate lyrics:  read only the CAPITAL letters above. 
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Angular Motion

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(music and lyrics by Hugh Emerson; dedicated to RN and SG)

A twelve-foot board sits east-west on an ice pond in Quebec;
From south, a boy jumps on an end with "vee" nine feet per sec.
The board weighs fifty pounds, the little boy weighs fifty more,
So find, one second later, the position of the board.

Swiss cable cars get power from a flywheel that can spin
(Mass:  half a ton, "dee":  'bout two yards) at three "kay" revs per min.
So if it takes twelve horsepower to move these little cars,
Find out how long they operate before they must recharge.

A billiard ball is shot across a billiard table in
A manner so it slides across and doesn't even spin,
But show that it will start to spin, and slide it will no more,
When friction slows the ball down to five-sevenths "vee-sub-oh".
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My Phi Mu Alpha Girl

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(music and words by Hugh Emerson; dedicated to DJS)

She's (you're) the melody of the song that I couldn't get out of my head 
Or the ray of the eastern sun that lifted me out of my bed; 
The most wonderful things in life, the sweetest music in all the world 
Are the things that remind me why I love her (you), my Phi Mu Alpha girl. 
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Leslie Ann

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(music and lyrics by Hugh Emerson; dedicated to NS)

Leslie Ann's
The dame I drove down to the dance
I thought the music was a chance
To set the mood for some romance (but I was wrong)

Leslie Ann, 
I'm your man;
Why do you not want to be my one and only?
Some say something's wrong with you, but it's baloney;
Say that you'll be mine, and we'll stop being so lonely.

Leslie Ann'd
Be really groovy, great and grand
But for a problem I can't stand:
She won't be my girl like I'd planned. (whose could she be?)

Leslie Ann, 
I'm your man;
Why do you not want to be my one and only?
Some say something's wrong with you, but it's baloney;
Say that you'll be mine, and we'll stop being so lonely.

Leslie Ann,
I know you know now I'm your fan;
And want a woman in my plan
As much as anybody can (BUT SO DO YOU!)
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The Fifth Frog

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(A Sincere Country Western Gospel Song--music and lyrics by Hugh Emerson;
dedicated to JDH)

As we rolled on down the highway, it was fixin' for to rain,
And the frogs got on the pavement in the middle of our lane.
We were countin' as we passed right over one, two, three, four, five,
While prayin' God would tell 'em not to jump so they could stay alive.
But the

Fifth frog didn't make it--he jumped up all on his own--
He was in too big a hurry to be on his way back home,
So the lesson of the fifth frog is that when God says, "Be still",
God will protect those standin' in His will.

Now the first frog said, "God help me!  There's a whirlwind passin' 
by!"
Number two said, "God, I'll never touch another pickled fly!"
Number three said, "Thank you, Jesus, for I know this trial's from 
thee!"
And that ol' fourth frog, she was Cath'lic, so she said her Rosary.
But the

Fifth frog didn't make it--he jumped up all on his own--
He was in too big a hurry to be on his way back home,
So the lesson of the fifth frog is that when God says, "Be still",
God will protect those standin' in His will.

So the funeral of the fifth frog was convened that very hour,
And his eulogy was given in the front seat of my car.
We sought comfort from the scriptures for his kids and for his wife,
But we knew if he'd heeded God, he never would've lost his life.
Poor ol'

Fifth frog didn't make it--he jumped up all on his own--
He was in too big a hurry to be on his way back home,
So the lesson of the fifth frog is that when God says, "Be still",
God will protect those standin' in His will.

And the moral of the story isn't "look before you leap",
And the message surely isn't "what you sow, that's what you reap",
But the point is plain and simple:  when there's trouble facin' you,
You'd better get that one opinion with the perfect point of view,
'Cause the

Fifth frog didn't make it--he jumped up all on his own--
He was in too big a hurry to be on his way back home,
So the lesson of the fifth frog is that when God says, "Be still",
God will protect those standin' in His will.
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